metalhead wojak


Almost everyone had a metalhead phase i assume. I used to have really long, greasy hair. Fu manchu moustache and a long tnin goatee beard. It was the first year of the college. I was a big, bulky guy, not so tall but taller than average(6 foot manlet). And i was unapproachable. Always walking with my headphones on, walking like a hunchback orc and people were staring at me like i am some sort of cave troll. I was having hard time sleeping back then too. My eyes were looking like racoon eyes. My fingernails were like sharp razors. And always wearing full black, as you can imagine.

I still love to listen all sorts of metal music including death metal and black metal. But i figured out you don't need a long hair to listen metal music. You don't even need to wear black. Why you metal guys did not tell this before?

All the joking aside i still like long hair but i am also sick of it. How the hell most ladies are able to deal with long hair? You try to bench your bun doesn't allow you to put your head down, you untie your hair now your hair is sweeping the floor, you always wake up looking like an opossum, you need to wash your hair every single day if you are me. You get suffocated while you are sleeping if you don't tie your hair. If you are obsessed you spend crapload of time brushing and combing your hair. You start to use hair conditioner and maybe 10 different type of hair products. When it is hot outside it is a total nightmare. When it is raining you are literally carrying 15 pounds of weight on top of your head.

After dealing with this torture for a couple years i decided to cut it off. First i decided to have a shorter long hair but i ended up looking like a Kpop Stan. It was even worse because i couldn't even tie my hair. And it was so goofy considering my size. After the rona hit i ended up trimming my hair and looked like a skinhead. Now i have a normie hair. I stopped giving a damn about my hair and since then i am happy with it.


I did not post anything yesterday. I was initally planning taking a couple days off. But here i am trying to push the knowledge in my thick skull once again. I was quite restless and feeling like shit. Never ever doubt yourself frens. I was having a hard time convincing myself I can do it. Sometimes even questioned if I am retarded. Also as i mentioned, uncertainty of future kills me. What am I gonna do even if I save myself from my current situation? Where am I gonna live? I cannot live with my parents forever. How am I gonna socialize after losing all my ablities to speak? Even after solving my financial problems i need to deal with crapload of other things. And thinking of this gives me anxiety. I will try to stay awake all night and try to learn about web development some more. I feel like everything is gonna get better after I overcome that "threshold" of coding.