I know that feel bro wojak


"There are good ships and wood ships, ships that sail the sea, but the best ships are friendships, may they always be!"

-Irish proverb

I started this post with a cheesy title maybe but I am far from being sarcastic. I mentioned i had no friends but this is wrong. My best and only friend lives miles away from me but i can never say he is not my true friend. I met with him about 1.5 years ago. He lives in United States. I found him in a crappy discord server full of toxic people but he was an exception. I got banned from that server but i kept the contact with that one guy. I could never imagine he being my best friend. And best person i have ever met. He is almost too good for this filthy world. He is very kind and sometimes pretty naive. He is pretty intelligent and a true hardworker. Me in the other hand is a lazy fuck with no talent. I sometimes feel like i don't deserve his friendship. I know many people but i cannot call any of them my friend. He is my one and only friend. He is the only one I can speak with without acting like someone I am not. He is a very good writer and soon enough he will become a pilot. He is not arrogant even a tiny bit. He is down to earth. His biggest dream is to live a life without being a burden on society and nature. He is really into agriculture and self sufficient life. He is truly one of a kind. It is really hard to find a non pretentious person let alone finding that kind of person on internet. I don't know what would i do without him.

I was one of those people. Dreaming about living all alone. Thinking i don't need any friends. Thinking I can be my best friend. Thinking people are nothing but cancer. Yeah i was a total fucking edgelord when i was a teenager. After spending years without leaving my room i realized i don't like myself at all. I am my worst enemy. Lonliness is not my thing at all. I realized i am not truly an introvert. Realized i cannot live without expressing myself. I cannot live without human interaction. Lonliness plays some dirty tricks on you. You first start talking with yourself, then you start daydreaming and maybe you get an imaginary friend one day and all of a sudden you become a schizo. I would shoot myself in the head the day i become the last man on earth. Funny how I used dream about this. A world with nobody but me. Robinson Crusoe was my favorite book. I read that for 3 times at least. I always wanted to be a real life Robinson. I even wanted to buy a private island in the middle of nowhere just to live far away from any person. My 16yo stupid ass did not think about how am i suppose to survive all by myself. Your life expectancy suddenly turns into 40 instead of 70. Not to mention you need to work your ass off just to see another day. And you are gonna end up looking like a total fucking animal in no time if you are living in wilderness.

You need other people for many things. Like it or not. You need friends in your life. You need other people's help in many things. Even if you are some sort of god who can live without anybody else you just don't need to. Why choose the hard way while people can help you? Why be a total dick and hurt people instead of making friends? Humans are the most social animals in the world. We did not survive because we are the strongest predators. We did not survive because we have sharp claws or 3 inch long teeth. We did not even survive due to our "superior" intelligence. We survived because we figured out how to stay together. We figured out how to create culture, how to create civilizations. Humans are below mediocre animals when it comes to physical abilities. Even in intelligence we are not so special. They say dolphins are almost as smart, i am not so sure about that but doesn't matter. Thing that makes us special is our social skills.

Don't be an idiot like me frens. Don't think you don't need any friends. And don't think you are just limited with your environment. You can always find like minded people. You just need to look harder.


I wrote down all of my long term and short term goals in a text file today. And i gave them a specific time frame. I am currently reading a book about how to focus. When it comes to self improvement books 90% of them are bullshit. But this one is both short and doesn't have any claims of being magical. The book is titled as Laser-Sharp Focus and written by Joanna Jast. I desperately need to fix my attention span. I might have ADHD. I cannot focus more than 10 minutes. I heard this is pretty common. I cannot get my hands on medication. Neither i want to depend on them. I am planning to finish this book in a couple days. Setting some sub-goals was already helpful for getting some motivation. I am planning to finish 15 small and simple projects made with basic HTML and CSS before August ends.